Saturday, October 28, 2006

Unlearn Veil To Understand Development

Veil being used or forced to being used by women is a shame for a civilized society. It is a clear violation to basic human rights. It is a clear violation to keep half of the population as slaves. It is curse to human society. Veil, irrespective of religion, is the biggest impediment of growth. Veil will create riot not by anybody but those who are being veiled for centuries.
Mallika Sherawat, the famous Indian actress, rebelled from her family setup to work in movies. Her parents never agreed with her ideas. She broke relations with her parents to pursue her career in movies. In a press conference, she roared, ‘My dad comes from a very old-world setup where everything is very traditional. The attitude is still, “girls from good families shouldn’t go into films.” Their thinking will never change. My mother still wears a gunghat (veil). Veil is creating havoc to a civilized society.
I feel so lost at times.’ She is correct. Anybody will feel lost when she has to change her level all alone. She has to take her decisions in life all alone. Parents are worse than enemies in such cases who pursue the tradition of veil for any reason. Such conservative people cannot accept or understand and appreciate Mallika’s tremendous efforts. Mallika once confirmed, ‘My dad has not spoken to me for the last three years.’ There is no way out. The progress of the offspring of this generation has to pass through a dark tunnel without veil. A progressive society have to throw veil for growth. People have to unlearn veil.
Veil removal is directly related to sex. Sex is a very integral part of social evolution. An individual or society passes through the most difficult phases in handling sexual necessities. There are continuous up gradations, discussions and research going on to meet the demands of individuals. But the sexual needs remain behind the veil, concealed, disguised or obscured. Why draw a veil over humans?
Developing society is hardly mature enough to meet the requirements of individuals. There is so much hidden pressure and conservatives to acquire information. Marriage itself is not yet clearly understood and explored. The famous writer Shobha De when she launched her latest book from the ninth floor of the Taj Mahal Hotel in New Delhi, in her fantastic backless dress, it still attracted lot of shyness, glaze, media attention and discussion, but all under a veil. The removal of shyness could be the first step to explore the depths of sex. A simple step of removal of shyness or initiation of smartness has taken generations for a individual. The reason has been quite complex. The individual and society has to understand and conquer them first.

Munna Devi was a woman from a very small village. She hardly got any proper education. She was the sixth child of her parents. She was born to do service for society starting from her family. She used to cook food for the family of twelve. In villages and even in small towns, it is a common phenomenon. She is hardly aware of the time she started menstruation.
When she was fourteen, she was married off in a very remote village, where you reach after walking for about six kilometers. Her parents married her early because they got an educated bridegroom for their hardworking daughter. At the time of marriage, her husband was studying in class twelve in the city which was around forty kilometers from his village.
After marriage, there was the gauna, sending off from the parent’s place and as per tradition; she came to her husband’s village. She used to remain inside the kuccha house with her father-in-law, mother-in-law, nanad (husband’s sister). She, as a bahu, had no privilege to go outside the house in the daytime. Only during night time, she could go to field for her natural calls. She used to keep ghunghat, a veil to cover face, in front of the males of the village, including her father-in-law. Her husband used to come during vacations from college. They used to remain away from each other during the daytime and only at night, after everybody slept; they used to come close to each other. The same tradition of purdah, veil continued for a long time. She became the mother of six children.
Fortunately, the country was passing through independence and the concept of a liberal society. Because of the consciousness of her mother-in-law, her husband got a job as a draftsman in the public sector. They started living in a small town. After becoming the mother of six children, and spending fifteen years of her married life, she started talking to strangers who used to visit her house. She garnered this courage against her mother-in-law’s wishes who always used to volunteer to talk to any strangers. But after six children she also got the courage to come out. Whenever any visitor came to her house, her children used to open the door, she used to hide her face, inside the room and say, ‘Ha, Kya bat hai? Saheb tho duty par gaye hai.’ (What is the matter, Mister has gone on duty.)’. Even at that stage, she never got the courage to confront any adult person even her husband’s friends.
Time is the best medicine not only for the diseases or sorrows of the poor but it is a medicine for modernity too in a conservative society. Time changes things but very slowly. Time passed, her elder son Bhola crossed the age of twelve. He started seeing and understanding the world better. He was getting his education in the town school. He always applied his education to the improvement and modernization of self, family members and if possible society. He always believed modernity and prosperity are synonymous. He felt that there is no pleasure in prospering if you remain conservative in your lifestyle. He forced his illiterate mother to remove her veil on the arrival of visitors to the house. There was no pressure from the father-in-law because he was not staying with them. Things changed and the education of the small children of an illiterate mother brought about some improvements. After around twenty years of marriage, Munna Devi was able to talk to strangers without a veil. A significant change of civilization has occurred. This could be the few first steps towards modernity.
New research confirms a belief that society is the strongest and biggest ingredient in improving the life of human beings. They learn faster from their colleagues, neighbours and society than through any preaching or lectures. The change of place or society is thus the most important aspect of the growth of individual or family. Being at one place, you cannot learn better things or progressive things. Fortunately, Munna Devi was lucky. Her husband got transferred and moved to a better place in a better township. She could see a better society. Her husband could see the smarter people. Her children could see a better society. Her mother-in-law could see a different world.
At the new place, people were mixing more frequently and openly. Earlier she had seen the ladies in sarees only, but at the new place, she saw the ladies in salwar-sameez, kurta-payajama, a few even wore pants-shirt, jeans too. Her children were going to a good English-medium school. They were learning better things. Slowly she left her shyness, removed her veil, pallu, the end of saree from her head. She used to talk to strangers openly without the pallu on her head. It was a great individual change like a triumph. As per compulsive social needs, she started going to markets, she started going to clubs with the children to see movies, she escorted her children to school for tuitions and so on. Even though, she was illiterate, she started speaking a few English words like ‘one’, ‘two’, ‘apple’, ‘egg’, ‘book’, ‘thank you’, ‘Tata’, ‘bye-bye’, etc. She became educated. Her husband used to proudly say, ‘Mural’, lovingly he used to call her with this name, ‘has learned more English than many men in the village.’ He was correct. Changed society had compelled her to learn and improve.
Modernity has its own compulsions. Munna Devi also wanted to have some intimate friends. The concept of friend at the age of forty-five with six grown-up children in a developing world is worse than thinking of committing murder. But this is a need of human beings. It is a physical compulsion. The body needs something and gets fulfilled in its own way. A barber, Rajendra, used to come to their house to cut the hair of all the males of the house. He was very talkative. He was living single in the town. During the haircut, he used to keep talking to Munna. Slowly a relationship developed; Rajendra became a good friend of Munna. He used to visit almost every week and used to spend hours with Munna. This new development made Munna a very bold person. She started enjoying the closeness of her husband even in the presence of children and outsiders. After around twenty-five years of marriage, she realized the needs of her body and self. This kind of time, chance, environment and opportunities are required for conscious evolution of individuals in society in normal circumstances.
Growth has its own limitations and tragedies. When Munna’s educated son got married, she forgot all her misery, pain of progress and modernity, she started preaching to the highly educated bahu of a highly educated son to follow all those old traditions of ghunghat, veil, puja and respect for elders, etc. which she used to do when she was fourteen years old, newlywed and staying in the remote village with illiterate people around her. The old shyness and painful customs, which she forgot or rather, got rid off after a lot of coercing and forcing, she was forcing on her bahu.
With lot of difficulties and the wise tricks of her educated son, she herself learned a part of modernity in her lifetime with so much pain but when as a mother-in-law, she had to handle and teach her bahu, she went back to thirty years of life and forced things to be done in the same way as she did thirty years ago in that remote village. This is the biggest irony in the normal growth of human civilization. Progress, development and achievements takes their own toll but once achieved instead of forgetting the painful past and dreadful path, people are compelled to rewind old experiences. Can we not unlearn them? Is it such a big challenge? It all starts from simple veil. Can we unlearn veil to achieve desired growth?


Cursing the developed society will never make the conservative people of developing society to grow. Women have to throw their veils irrespective of their religion. Women have to burn their veil permanently for their development. Women have to unlearn veil for their basic freedom and privileges. There is no growth of any society whose female are in veil. There is no progress of a family whose female are forced to be in veil. Veil is the china wall between deprivation and luxury. Veil must be deleted from a dictionary of a progressive person.
Veil and conservatives continue because of social history. Life remains secretive in nature. Fearfulness of uncontrollability always threatens the spread of knowledge and wisdom. Every human remains quite overconfident of his/her control and prowess. But, who takes chance for others, that too for next generation? Unlearning even painful customs and traditions remains a big challenge to people of a developing nation especially when moving towards a developed society or develop nation.
People have remained poor and deprived even in developed societies whose female are in veil. The children are still dying as human bomb whose mothers are forced to be in veil. The brothers are becoming terror whose sisters are forced to be in veil. The daughters are becoming the followers of Osama to become human bomb if they are convinced to be in veil. Veil is the biggest enemy to freedom. For recent new coverage please go to http://360.yahoo.com/kamekish.
The history of appeasements is costing the people across the world dear. Who can forget the appeasement policy of Rajiv Gandhi in case of Shah Bano and now Imrana? Society is paying for all these fallacies of leadership. The growth is remaining illusive. Veil is keeping knowledge and wisdom away from people.
Frankness, openness, understanding of life, living like an independent and free soul, having the freedom to live like a human being, especially for ladies, comes with a lot of sacrifice, training, opportunity and boldness. A women or even men need to be courageous enough to reduce the conservativeness, forget about eliminating them.
Munna passed through so much pain, sacrifice and personal courage to come out of the conservative traditions of the veil where she was living like a ‘cow’ during the last thirty years. She was tied and milked as per the owner’s wishes. But the irony of the growth of human generation is that they are not passing this freedom and progressive thinking to the next generation. On the contrary, they want to take the people of the next generation back by thirty years. This is a tragedy of human civilization. Is there a surprise when veil in Muslims in India have pushed the whole community to the level worse that the scheduled caste. Veil will take the people back to Stone Age.
In a society, veil and such conservatism passes from one generation to next forcefully because the person feels comfortable to deal with that conservatism experienced of early stages of life. They are just not bothered even about the growth of their own offspring. In these conservative and selfish environments, sex has remained the most unknown, hidden and complex subject. Everybody feels that he knows enough about sex and there is no need of any education, training or experience. This results in the situation that we remain illusive about the biggest and most pleasurable aspect of life. Sex and growth are interlinked with the tradition of veil. We need to unlearn veil to have fun. We need to unlearn veil to have pleasurable sex. We need to unlearn veil to learn about growth and prosperity.
The growth is a very slow process. The economical, social and technological growth has impinged new hope to all deprived people including the women in veil. As the changes in last decades have surpassed the changes in last centuries, there is a tremendous hope that people will discuss and sort out those changes which provide a better living to people. Jack Straw has made the beginning by raising the issues. The present generation leadership has come out openly to make the change. The same leaderships who kept all illiterate and semidetached behind the veil for all these years for human history are forced to talk to come out of veil.
The young boys and girls are not going to follow the conservative traditions. Statistics show the changes in the mindset. The numbers of people trusting their parent in last 20 years has declined from 23% to 21% while those trusting a sibling from 21% to 14%. These declines in the existing trust between two generations are the good sign of growth. I conclude that growth is compulsive and changes have to be accepted by the people forcefully or by choice. Posted by Picasa

No comments: